3 / 30 : lunch at rand.

it's friday yessssssss.

right now now im listening to 'dream'. not 'the dream'. dream, the white girl group who was signed under diddy mad years back. dont judge.

as usual, hit up the 30/30 cypher. right hereeeee. rawness in its finest. nate has been blogging his 30/30 on this site so click his name on the side if u wanna get at that.

i got to catch up on my thursday night tv. let's go!

lunch at rand

around 12 pm on friday afternoons

every black person on campus

descends on the tables of rand

the flocks congregate and break off

into their respective groups

and talk their respective shit

about the mother fucker they hate

three tables over

these days i would rather take the

side door between chef james and rand

walk outside and walk down

but today i felt like i had been ghost enough

so i sat down at a table to catch up

the same bitches who i know hate me

gave me fake hugs and asked me how 

i was doing

and with a frozen smile on my face

i told them  i was doing fine, thanks,

and how were they?

and i would normally never go through rand

with sweatpants and a jacket on

sleep deprived, 24 hours in

because people would start talking shit like

oooh girl. ashley look a hot asssssss

mess these days. i ain't seen 

her ass in a minute and WHAT

the FUCK 

she got on? 

but as the days go by

and as the year wraps up

i am realizing that i am starting

not to give a flying 747 fuck

about what these people

think about me

and as i was standing there 

in rand with my chuck taylors

smudged makeup from exhaustion

for the first time in awhile

i had to admit to myself that

i'm tired of pretending

and performing at noon 5 days a week

and as i looked out in the faces

of some of my peers i could tell

that they want the curtains to close

too

so i walked offstage

got a cherry icee

and fell asleep