26 / 30 : sunday morning.

today, i took it easy. church. post church brunch. post brunch nap. post nap chit chat with the bff. and now a post chit chat poem. 

sunday morning

i can honestly say

although i'm ashamed to admit that

i woke up this morning earlier

than i ever do on the Lord's day

i haven't been to one church

in Nashville since I first walked

through the gates in 2006

my home church i love dearly and

the search for something new

seemed like a daunting task

that i have been intentionally

putting off but no time is better

than the present

even if the present is the last

sunday of your junior year

and we parked onto a gravel parking lot

which took me back to the old days

in south carolina in my

one room church and the pews

felt warm and worn and 

faces i had never seen before

looked familiar and loving and

my bible that hasn't seen any church

since back home over christmas

opened eagerly to psalms 63 and

i fingered the pages gently

looking through the notes i had made

in years past 

this bible is 17 years old and has been

through every spiritual up and down

that i can recall

and as i went to the alter and kneeled to

pray the tears fell because after all this time

after sunday morning brunches after

a scandalous saturday night and after

this year 

the year that Satan tried to get me to

submit my soul to him over i couldn't help

but feel at home in the house of the Lord

and i wept

and along the way

i forgot somehow

that the house of the Lord

isn't just one church in Cincinnati

where they come together in his name

there He shall be

15 / 30 : the woes of the black president.

today was a good day, & i had me a great night. sort of.

also: this is poem 15 of 30. half way home!!!!

let's go!

the woes of the black president

i'm not trying to get shot dead

on a balcony like brother martin 

or lay in a pool of blood

in an auditorium in harlem like

malik shabazz and 

i'm not trying to bailout the world

like my president barack 

i just want to do the job

i was elected to do

but oppression from all sides

resistant to change

resistant to the fact that

new leaders mean

new ideas and new beginnings

some people just cant stand that

so they pack their things

and leave

and already i want to

throw the towel in and quit but

im too legit and

im the best man for the job

so 

despite the fact

whether you like it or not

trust that im doing my best

for what its worth

but to get them to trust me

to really really trust me

this little black girl with chocolate skin

i might be more than they

bargained for

and im sure as hell

more than they can handle

him [the phone call].

i didn't realize until last night
when i found myself stuck, sad
and needing advice
he was the first person i called

and although i've known him for
little more than a season or so
i feel like i can trust him
with almost everything

and my friends think he's sketchy
and won't be along for the ride when
it gets rough but he's proven to me
that he's down

back then when i first met him
i would have died if you told me that
now my days feel a little uneven
if i haven't heard from him

is he only in my life
for a season or two, i can't say
all that matters now is when i call
he always picks up