21 / 30 : rainbows.

after a talk with my friend last week,

about the struggles he deals with being gay 

in america i felt for him and cried over the keyboard

this is for you

rainbows

i can envision you in my head

as a little boy growing up strong

in a city that could do nothing but

encircle you with endless love

and a mother who would give the world

for you 

who couldn't wait to see her son 

graduate high school, college,

marry a beautiful woman,

bring some grand babies to her front porch

to be nestled and nuzzled

with her wisdom and love

but you knew for as long as you could remember

that you were born to live out a different

existence, a destiny you couldn't fight

it was innate and 

it was internal you knew 

it would break her heart if you ever told her

after a storm and a rainbow appeared

would you peep your head outside

and look up

were you jealous of its unabashed exhibition

a million fragments of flamboyant color

arched across a conservative sky 

did you wish you could run out

of the closet

to dance in the rain puddles

spread your arms like the angel

you are

and proclaim your existence

you've been here this whole time

a victim of the system of

double-consciousness 

midwestern values strung you up

from the highest skyscraper and 

lynched your pride 

did you

hate lying to your mother 

across the breakfast table about who 

you were with last night and what

you did last night and who

you were last night because it never

seemed like the right time 

to make her cry and as the years

passed by you couldn't find the time in your blackberry

to schedule that talk with her 

you simply didn't want to 

and did she tear away at your humanity

when you finally came out of your cocoon

emerged into a butterfly before her eyes

and she rejected the man she had raised

did you want to run back to the closet

lock the door

turn off the light and

fade to black 

but there was no turning back

did you lay in your bed at night

unable to slumber peacefully 

a product of the city that never sleeps

and did you reach deep inside yourself

and prayed for God to make it all well again

whatever that meant

whatever that may be

as tears as thick as skittles

cascaded down your cheeks 

evaporated in the air and painted

the rainbows in the sky 

that you were too afraid to do yourself

i can't imagine the places 

and predicaments that simply being

who you are has put you through

it rained in cincinnati today

and even though you're hundreds

of miles away 

a rainbow 

peeked through

the clouds of my midwestern sky

and i couldn't help but think

of you