10 / 30 : love.

this weekend is finna be bonkerssssss.

love.

not the kind of

kiss you in the middle of the night

and hold you tight

type of love

but you love that you have for

your sister

your soulmate

your best friend

the kind of love

that can stand the test of time

can hurdle any obstacle

can move mountains

and after its all said and done

you can sit back and chat

like nothing had ever changed.

because in the end

with love like that

nothing will make a difference.

9 / 30 : girltalk.

whoooa yes lord. got a perm today so im feeling fierce. but its supposed to rain tomorrow :( but its going to be a good weekend. my mommy is coming down and what not.

andddddd [drumroll]

in the new president of vanderbilt spoken word!!!!! a weekend to celebrate. 

but before then....a poem! 

as usual, nate prolly got off his ass and wrote a poem here. and u can be sure that there are dope poems on the 3030 cypher here. 

girltalk

girl, don't you know that

i've been in your shoes before

thought the same thoughts talked

the same talk negativity oozing

out of my pores and bitterness

tearing away at my humanity

sitting here looking at you is like

looking back at me mirror image

of who i used to be but i refuse

to let anyone tell me to stifle my swag

and modify my destiny

and i wont let them tell you that either

girl, the tears that have dropped down your face

are identical to my own and

i've felt the doubt that you feel when

you walk into a room 

and when the paranoia that they are talking

about you heads your way

turn your pretty head girl

don't let them ruin your day

because i let it ruin months and months

and ate me inside out

if i could turn back the hands of time

there would be no doubt

my attitude would change and my swag

would have never faltered

and when i see someone like you

being hurt like someone like me

i cant help but be bothered

you are beautiful beyond belief

and you have an unconquerable soul

your wisdom is beyond your years

and you'll conquer all of your fears

in due time

but for right now let this marinate

and i know it will hurt to do

but by the end of the road

when you turn and look back 

you'll see that letting the anger brew

would do nothing at all

so if you can bear witness to your enemies

look them in the face and stand tall

trust me when i say, 

girl, one day 

you'll have 

it all

8 / 30 : ink.

so im at my spoken word meeting, which i guess is the perfect time to write this gotdamn poem. 

today was legit crazy..did not sleep. had a test and a paper. i looked homeless all day. i pretty much fell asleep during my test. i wanted to hang myself.

and then i went to prison. to visit. and my day got alot better.

as usual, nate mahhhhhhhhshawww is over here. and 3030 is over here. dig that. 

ink

thirty twenty something kids

seated in chairs facing six

inmates, felons, convicts

and at first the tension 

stacked high like the berlin wall in 88

but then it fell down

as we related to their struggles

the man on the far left

claimed GD

the ultimate fraternity

the only way out is in a box

was decorated with 

a million tattoos and

i raised my hands and asked

if he didn't mind

telling me what they meant

he didn't

he had hard time written on his knuckles

and other insignias

that he swore he couldn't speak of

dollar signs on his adams apple

marijuana up his sleeve

a six pointed stair on his shoulder blade

and he sure isnt jewish

on his back he said

because he obviously couldnt show me

a scroll with a knife through it

stabbed in the back

by his friends who he trusted

inked in roman gothic

saying Lord, protect me from my friends

because i can handle my enemies

if i ever got tatted up, 

i'd probably get

the same thing

7 / 30 : hot and bothered.

so its 5:45 in the morning and today i was listening to my itouch and i hear this crazyyyy noise. my fan broke. i like to keep my room cool. my sleep cycle is already fucked and im burning up in this room and i cant sleep so...why not write it out.

i'll probably end up writing another poem by the end of the day, which hasn't legit begun. 2 poem limits per day though is the rule. i'll adhere.

....but seriously, does anyone have a fan i can borrow until the end of the month?

hot and bothered

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tied is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity

-- William Butler Yeats

i can't help by lay on my back

in my room and i'm sweating

beads sliding down my furrowed brow

as i wonder where and when

things fell apart

my fan is broken and although im 

burning up one of the main reasons

i keep it on al the time is the noise

drowns out everything in the hall

everything outside

everything in me

and now that i threw it down the chute

silence fills the room and

my thoughts are trickling down my face

and i can hear the pit pat of the

raindrops on this april morning

i guess i'll buy a new fan tomorrow

because i can't live like this

staying up until 6 am 

worrying about these issues

that are suffocating me 

with sweltering density

things fall apart

this i know to be true and i've

seen it happen so often this year

that i admit

that i've stopped trying to build up

what i know the tide will come

and wash away

but be that as it may

on this april morning i lay

veering between 

a lack of conviction and

a passionate intensity 

for the first time all year i hear

the kirkland bell tolling for me

im sweating and im swearing

that i'd stop caring

because these tools are to worn

to begin again

and why fight a battle

that you can't win

because things

fall

apart

6 / 30 : photograph.

so i went to bed at 7 am, woke up at 8:45 for class, and somehow managed to stay up until 3:30 until i fell the hell asleep. bless my heart.

mondays suck. but poems make it all better.

as usual, check out mr. marshall over here. and the 30/30 cypher here.

let's get it.

photograph

im browsing through my macbook

trying to create a slideshow of

the year past and i realized

that these memories are still

burned into my skull and

etched in my heart no matter

how far i try to put you out of my mind

and theres a picture of the two of us

candid as hell, neither looking at the camera

your mouth is wide open

big white teeth gleaming

gear fresh as usual

my chinky eyes are wide shut

as i grin with glee

and we're sharing a moment

when nothing else mattered

when we were still

best friends

and its captured on film

for me to look at and to remember

the september

before everything fell apart

and if you're reading this

just know that this poem

only a few lines long

took me 30 minutes to write

because its hard to type

when im looking at this photograph

and the pain escapes

through tears running down my cheeks

5 / 30 : freeze. [like me]

i'm exhausteddddddddd.

this poem is mad late! damn!

check out knasty knate's, one of NP's newest and un4gettable NUPES, poetry over here.

freeze. [like me]

i guess i must be getting older

or maybe i can finally

blame it on the alcohol

but last night after the festivities

after being cooped up in room 1108

for a semester i decided to have some fun

and i wanted to dance with you

all night and when i finally did

it was worth it and it was cool but

what i'll remember the most

about that party was in a 

half drunken half sober

entirely honest mood

when i told you how i felt

about you

and after i whispered that in your ear

it was like the rest of the party

stopped

and everything

freezed

and for that moment in time

after i gave up the ghost

i felt really,

really 

happy

4 / 30 : kongratulations.

i'm running a little late but i have a good excuse.

my good friends nate and jeremy kame out as men of kappa alpha psi today. i kouldnt be any prouder of them and their akkomplishments!!!!!!!!!!

peep nate's blog, as usual, here. he might have something special written today :)

kongratulations

i woke up at 11

walked the bride across 21st

paid 23 dollars for a hat

definitely dropped over 100, easy

spent 2 hours making signs

running on 3 hours of sleep

almost suffocated myself with a number 5 balloon

and drew approximately 1911 diamonds today.

i am exhausted.

but to see my boys

show the whole world

that they are men of achievement

and men of good kharacter

brought tears to my eyes

and made every last cent

and ever last second

worth it

kongrats, nate and jeremy.