25 / 30 : a dream deferred.

soc 201 final today.

.............................................

so tonight must be legendary, to make up for such occurrences. 

a dream deferred

despite the fact that i let

the idea of you and me fall to

the waist side i cant help

that at night you slip and slither

your way into my REM cycle

electrifying my neurological motor board

with a touch that feels as real as 

it used to be back in the day and

i've missed a few phonecalls and

appointments and probably a few classes

because any dream with you in it is so

tantalizing

my body can't seem to and

doesn't want to tear itself away

from being wrapped up in your

subliminal embrace because once

the tone from my shrill alarm clock

is heard you and i

are nothing more than

a dream deferred

24 / 30 : slam.

exam tomorrow. going crazy.

slam

slam poetry is

the art of

being proud of who you are

and stripping it off

laying it on stage

and exposing it

for all to see

23 / 30 : colin.

exam one was today. oh, rosie. damn.

and then spoken word grand slam rehearsals. we are bad asses.

poem time.

colin

i would never imagined that

one of my favorite people

on the planet would be a 19 

year old chinese dude from LA but

life has a funny way of putting you

in the situations you need to be in

to meet the people that will make you

better

and our friendship is based on a 

mutual obsession of the office and

making fun of other people and 

staying up late and fucking around but

as trivial as all that may sound those

are some of my favorite memories

i've had this year 

in ASB as far as placements go

we say sometimes they get the

group dynamic wrong, sometimes

right. 

sometimes they get it really

really right.

and despite all of the

fuckery that looms on the horizon

i can take solace knowing that my

mariah carey every song havin

philosophy paper writin

cost-co surplus buying

wisecrackin buzzed haircut 

bully/softie of a friend

will only be

a tower away

22 / 30 : drowning.

to be a reading day, today was probably one of the busiest days ever in life.

check out my co-chair's blog over hereeeee. and 3030 hereeeee.

drowning

although i feel like

i let you down just know

that i'll never ever let you

drown and when you feel

that you are about to

go under or you need

to take cover feel free

to pick up the phone and 

call up 

me and i'll do what i can

to make the pain go away

cause you need to know

you're not in this alone

and if all else fails my home

is your home and i know you

think this is all fake and 

phony sounding but this is

a cry to help some one floundering

before he starts drowning

21 / 30 : the LDOC.

last day of classes, junior year. crazy, right.

but much to look forward to in the near future. in the meantime -

the LDOC

there has to be an end

if there's a beginning and today

i woke up with the end in mind

and in sight as i walked out of

my last class and prepared

to be a senior

but being a senior

doesn't mean that i'm immune

from mistakes because

when i see you and when

you touch me 

even though it's the end

it feels like the beginning

all over again

20 / 30 : home movies.

today started off terrible, but a game of spades and knockout wings sweet bread will make shit a hell of alot better.

and good friends too. and their embarrassing kappa beau videos [love you, ed and nick ].

home movies.

it's funny to pop in a video

or if you upgraded, a dvd

and see yourself and the people

you love during their most

prepubescent awkward times

i wonder what deems

certain events worthy of being

recorded like weddings and

births and not tortellini tuesday

or a homework session three weeks back

either way its funny how we

as a people are fascinated with the past

and reliving it and storing it

on film is like keeping that memory

that is floating out to sea on a 

shorter line, tugging it slowly back

to the dock of our minds

19 / 30 : spaghetti dinner.

this weekend was fucking ridiculous in a billion ways possible.

last real weekend of the school year. where did junior year go?

wherever it went...bye bye bye

it's go time

spaghetti dinner

i have some friends who

know exactly how to piss me off

but choose not to anyway and i have

those friends who text me just to say

hello because i was on their mind

and i have those friends that will argue 

with me just because they think its funny

and bc i'll be a good sport and i have

those friends that come to my room

just to kick it and watch gossip girl

and  i have those friends who 

read this blog because they care about

the things i say and i have those friends

who can read my mind and write my autobiography

better than i ever could and i have

those friends that i've known for a year

but it seems like forever and i have those

friends that i've known for a year

but i'll cherish forever and

i'm a very lucky girl because

all those friends were in the same

room tonight for food and 

fellowship and despite the fact

that they ate all the damn garlic bread

i'm blessed

18 / 30 : chasing pavements.

today was a huge huge waste. literally, the entire day. didnt get back from hospital until around 8 this morning and my sleep schedule is fucked because of it. but at least i got a sausage biscuit out of the deal?

N E R D is playing tonight for rites...but i saw them last year front row and there's no need to be out with all of those crazy ass white kids. no no. let's go.

NM: here. 3030: here.

chasing pavements

adele has a point

if these roads lead to nowhere

why am i still running

if it's towards a dead end

lately i felt i am the only one

running this race but im

not in first place im dead last

which is sad

and i can feel myself slowing down

taking a break, hands on knees

head down, gasping for breath while

everyone else runs past me

i really don't care

it's to the point now that i just

don't want to run and i just

don't want to keep chasing pavements following

the footsteps of my friends 

and enemies so i bring

a doctor's note from home excusing me

from participating in this bullshit so

i look on the sidelines

and watch