3 / 30 : lunch at rand.

it's friday yessssssss.

right now now im listening to 'dream'. not 'the dream'. dream, the white girl group who was signed under diddy mad years back. dont judge.

as usual, hit up the 30/30 cypher. right hereeeee. rawness in its finest. nate has been blogging his 30/30 on this site so click his name on the side if u wanna get at that.

i got to catch up on my thursday night tv. let's go!

lunch at rand

around 12 pm on friday afternoons

every black person on campus

descends on the tables of rand

the flocks congregate and break off

into their respective groups

and talk their respective shit

about the mother fucker they hate

three tables over

these days i would rather take the

side door between chef james and rand

walk outside and walk down

but today i felt like i had been ghost enough

so i sat down at a table to catch up

the same bitches who i know hate me

gave me fake hugs and asked me how 

i was doing

and with a frozen smile on my face

i told them  i was doing fine, thanks,

and how were they?

and i would normally never go through rand

with sweatpants and a jacket on

sleep deprived, 24 hours in

because people would start talking shit like

oooh girl. ashley look a hot asssssss

mess these days. i ain't seen 

her ass in a minute and WHAT

the FUCK 

she got on? 

but as the days go by

and as the year wraps up

i am realizing that i am starting

not to give a flying 747 fuck

about what these people

think about me

and as i was standing there 

in rand with my chuck taylors

smudged makeup from exhaustion

for the first time in awhile

i had to admit to myself that

i'm tired of pretending

and performing at noon 5 days a week

and as i looked out in the faces

of some of my peers i could tell

that they want the curtains to close

too

so i walked offstage

got a cherry icee

and fell asleep 

2 / 30 : balloons.

balloons are something

we take for granted

until you're standig at a counter

trying to figure out how much

are you willing to spend

for an inflatable mylar container

that will ultimately deflate

or fly away

and even though

thirteen dollars is

an exorbitant amount spent

on balloons

for the people that

you really care about

you'd do buy 

almost anything

1 / 30 : hoop dreams.

day one. im excited! 

check out nasty nate marshall's blog here.

also, wanna see more 30/30 poems? Holla!

hoop dreams

i woke up this morning

to ESPNEWS headlines blaring about

Beale Street Blues and

a Bluegrass Dynasty

and I see Mr. John

in a blue shirt with a different logo

talking about this new job

and his dream coming true

and i know that memphians are

pissed 

hoping that this is an april fools joke

praying that

the king of memphis has not

abandoned his throne

but what fans will never understand

is the fact that coaches

like mr. john

like my daddy

have dreams too

and in this world

and this lifestyle they have chosen

there are no hurt feelings

its just business

but thinking about mr. john's kids

who i've grown up with

who have to move again

for the umpteenth time

like me and my brother

being dragged around from state to state

because of daddy's dreams

was something i didn't understand

when i was 3

when i was 4

when i was 10

when i was 12

when i was 15

but now im 6 years wiser

and im watching the tv screen

as mr. john who i've known

as long as i can remember

close a chapter and embark

on a dream 

i couldn't be any prouder

to dare to dream

in the public arena is 

the most courageous act

a man can do 

and years ago when i was 13

sobbing on my bed with

moving boxes all around me

i couldn't understand

and i couldn't see

that i should step back

dry my tears

show my support

and allow my dad

the chance to dream

welcome to the 30 day challenge.

april is national poetry month.

which is awesome.

and alot of poets across the country are taking up the 30 days, 30 poems challenge.

one poem a day. everyday.

my friend nate marshall did it a few months ago. it was sick.

he's doing it again and i am too.

so i'll be pasting a link to his blog as the days go by

and to other poets who are taking up the challenge.

april first, day one. enjoy the show. 

makedamnsure.

if i can think of any lesson

that i've learned this school year

that is slowly winding to a close

make damn sure

makedamnsure that you

know exactly who you are

and never forget

write it down

put it in your blackberry

set a reminder once a week

hide it under your mattress

like a 4th grade diary 

scribble it on a post it note

and place it by your light switch

because if you don't remember

they will rip you up

and tear you down

and tell you that you

are everything that you're not

everything they despise

so before its too late

and you lose the faith

you better make damn sure

makedamnsure 

you dont submit

never forget